Today I want to show you how to fix stuff (for example your router, TV box or something else) in the next ''few'' steps:
1) Turn it off & on (just as normal people do)
2) Still doesn't work? Firstly say ''Jebem li vam mamu lopovsku'' ( I'll f*ck your moms you thieves)
3) Turn it off & on again (but this time bit more beastly mode-bit more aggressive)
4) Still doesn't work? Now it's time to swear even more, so your whole neighborhood can hear you
5) Now it's time to call your son with:'' Sine jebem li ti mamu popravljaj ovo govno '' (Son I'll f*ck your mom, come and fix this sh*t')
6) If the son can't fix it, (mostly he can't), it's time to swear even more
7) Now it's time to take the actual device apart, take a screwdriver and start taking it apart
8) Now after you took it apart, mostly you have no clue what the hell is all of that so you assemble the whole thing again, and call your son to actually connect the cables so you don't f*ck up something
9) Son comes, and connects everything, and it's time to try if it works
10) Again it doesn't work, time to smash it few times and try again
11) After 10 minutes still no positive results, time to swear a bit more, also time to smash few more times
12) Time to call the actual service which YOU SHOULD'VE CALLED AFTER THE 3rd STEP, and tell them that they should come and fix the sh*t before you go to their office and destroy everything, usually you have to wait 2-3 days before they come
13) Finally they've came to your house to see what's wrong, they ask you ''Did you do anything with it?'', ofcourse you say only that you've been turning it off/on and reconnecting the wires, they say ''it's something up to you,you broke it''
14) You are mad af because they said you broke it, since it didn't work even before you started ''fixing'' it, now you sear to them even more
15) They say you have to pay for a new device since your broke it, but you have to say to them ''Jebem li vam mamu lopovsku,govna jedna usrana, pipnuo ja to nisam sve vam jebem'' (A lot of bad words....), the look at you and say ''Sry sir, it's not our fault''.
16) You take all the devices, go outside,take a hammer and destroy the actual devices in front of the guys who came to fix it and again ofcourse nothing without a good few swear words. The guys still say that you have to pay for it and they leave.
17) After 7 days you realize you are paying them for nothing, you still have the contract signed which is mostly on 2 years, now you ask your wife what is the best option since you dunno what to do anymore.
18) The last step is to go their office, act like a normal person, pay them for the new devices, go home and wait till the same guys come to your house and bring new devices!
This is how it works in Bosnia, also this text is pure mine I didn't stole it ^^
1) Turn it off & on (just as normal people do)
2) Still doesn't work? Firstly say ''Jebem li vam mamu lopovsku'' ( I'll f*ck your moms you thieves)
3) Turn it off & on again (but this time bit more beastly mode-bit more aggressive)
4) Still doesn't work? Now it's time to swear even more, so your whole neighborhood can hear you
5) Now it's time to call your son with:'' Sine jebem li ti mamu popravljaj ovo govno '' (Son I'll f*ck your mom, come and fix this sh*t')
6) If the son can't fix it, (mostly he can't), it's time to swear even more
7) Now it's time to take the actual device apart, take a screwdriver and start taking it apart
8) Now after you took it apart, mostly you have no clue what the hell is all of that so you assemble the whole thing again, and call your son to actually connect the cables so you don't f*ck up something
9) Son comes, and connects everything, and it's time to try if it works
10) Again it doesn't work, time to smash it few times and try again
11) After 10 minutes still no positive results, time to swear a bit more, also time to smash few more times
12) Time to call the actual service which YOU SHOULD'VE CALLED AFTER THE 3rd STEP, and tell them that they should come and fix the sh*t before you go to their office and destroy everything, usually you have to wait 2-3 days before they come
13) Finally they've came to your house to see what's wrong, they ask you ''Did you do anything with it?'', ofcourse you say only that you've been turning it off/on and reconnecting the wires, they say ''it's something up to you,you broke it''
14) You are mad af because they said you broke it, since it didn't work even before you started ''fixing'' it, now you sear to them even more
15) They say you have to pay for a new device since your broke it, but you have to say to them ''Jebem li vam mamu lopovsku,govna jedna usrana, pipnuo ja to nisam sve vam jebem'' (A lot of bad words....), the look at you and say ''Sry sir, it's not our fault''.
16) You take all the devices, go outside,take a hammer and destroy the actual devices in front of the guys who came to fix it and again ofcourse nothing without a good few swear words. The guys still say that you have to pay for it and they leave.
17) After 7 days you realize you are paying them for nothing, you still have the contract signed which is mostly on 2 years, now you ask your wife what is the best option since you dunno what to do anymore.
18) The last step is to go their office, act like a normal person, pay them for the new devices, go home and wait till the same guys come to your house and bring new devices!
This is how it works in Bosnia, also this text is pure mine I didn't stole it ^^
