The main reason we hadn't been down to visit her before (apart from the lockdowns) was that she would still go and see all her friends and do her painting classes and so on and we were maybe over paranoid about mixing with that. Last week was planned with those jobs in mind, we knew what we were going to do an that we wouldn't be going out anywhere - she went to a pub quiz and a panto. Same for the cooking, we planned in advance what we were going to have and had a lot of stiff like rice and couscous already weighed and ready to go. She has always been the same though, just seems incapable of showing any interest in anything and it does feel deflating.
Forgot that the charging lead for het iPad had broken and left a bit inside of the lightning port so you just had to get it in just right for it to charge. She no longer uses her PC so it was quite important. That was the first job to see if I could get the piece out or take it for a repair. Spent 45 minutes fishing the bits out but got it done. Gave it to her and got "have you got a new lead for it".
Have also spent time setting up stuff to make it easier like voice controlled lights for the ones that are in awkward places where she cannot get to switches. So Echo, lights on/off controls them. Been there an hour or so and then got "the lights don't work". On one the bulb had blown which she had replaced but it still didn't work. When the bulb blew it took out the fuse in the plug - maybe she just didn't think of changing that. That was one of the lamps that uses a connected plug-in socket. The socket wasn't there! Eventually found it in a draw in a storage cupboard. She never touched it apparently. Need to set up some cameras to spot the technology moving poltergeists!
I know it sounds like I am moaning, but the Mrs was miffed by it too. We are really trying to help her. She has trouble getting up stairs so we said why not get a stair lift installed. Nope the seats are uncomfortable. If it helps you go up and down stairs a minute or so isn't that bad. Same for the garden, it is a real mess and now that she is less mobile not that safe. We have suggested getting gardeners in to plan it and make it useable for her. It really would need a lot of working digging and building that the younger me could do but not now. That would be too expensive!!!
She has more than enough money to get it done and it would help her. We suggested that she gets one of those push frames that you can also sit on for when she goes out. Took her to the shop (this was a while back) spent about 1.5 hours looking but none were quite right for her. The day after we got home she and a friend went to a place and she found the perfect one. Yep, exactly the same one we had already looked at.
OK, one final story. I know what hip pains is like. Until I got different meds it really was agony. So Mum started getting hip pain, went to the doctors and so on. Apparently despite medication the pain was severe. It was gradually getting worse and she was in a lot of discomfort. She got to see a consultant, had all the x-rays and tests and was put on the list for a replacement him. So around May 2019 she was due to have it done. There was a mix-up so it didn't happen. In Sept 2019 it was scheduled to be done. We went down so and took her for the pre-op check-up. They explained that it was really risky but she said the pain was that bad she wanted it done. So the next Monday we take her to the hospital for the op. My wife was with her for the pre-op stuff and the surgeon sat her down for a chat and she said the pain was bad and wanted to go ahead. The surgeon, with my wife there, said as you know the operation may not be sucessful because of her age and on top of that he thought that it was risky because of other health issues. Nope, she still wanted to go ahead with it as the pain was so bad the risk was worth it. He reiterated to confirm things that 'as you know the hip replacement may not be successful but there is a 90% chance that she may not make it through the operation! At that point she decided not to have the op and we went home.
On Wednesday the Mrs was going to the Tutankhamen exhibition that was on in London. Which was fine as I would stay with Mum and if the op had gone ahead seh would have been in hospital anyway. Wednesday morning mum was complaining of having back ache all night. So Iz went off to the exhibition. Apparently the pain mum had got worse so we called the 111 line - not emergency but if you have concerns. So off she goes to hospital in the ambulance and I followed in the car. Spent 8 hours getting tests and examinations and the couldn't find anything. Doctors seemed a bit sceptical about the cause and the symptoms became pretty vague. So back home we went.
Next day she went to lunch with her friends and on the Friday she went out for a pub quiz thing. The hospital day was never mentioned and the hip replacement has also been forgotten about and the pain gone! A miracle!
Honestly think it is something like Munchausen's syndrome. Seems to fit all the descriptions. When she wanted a lot of her paperwork stuff sorted (at the time for the hip op) there was a 2 year cycle where something would happen like an ulcer, or knee pain, or the hip pain that would involve the doctor, loads of tests but ultimately nothing happens and it isn't mentioned again. We found boxes of tablets for the hip pain that were unopened. Some of her friends have been very ill and it feels like she needs to have something wrong for the sympathy.
OK, that is it! Helps to get it down in writing so if you got this far thanks for listening and it isn't a cry for help or sympathy.
Forgot that the charging lead for het iPad had broken and left a bit inside of the lightning port so you just had to get it in just right for it to charge. She no longer uses her PC so it was quite important. That was the first job to see if I could get the piece out or take it for a repair. Spent 45 minutes fishing the bits out but got it done. Gave it to her and got "have you got a new lead for it".
Have also spent time setting up stuff to make it easier like voice controlled lights for the ones that are in awkward places where she cannot get to switches. So Echo, lights on/off controls them. Been there an hour or so and then got "the lights don't work". On one the bulb had blown which she had replaced but it still didn't work. When the bulb blew it took out the fuse in the plug - maybe she just didn't think of changing that. That was one of the lamps that uses a connected plug-in socket. The socket wasn't there! Eventually found it in a draw in a storage cupboard. She never touched it apparently. Need to set up some cameras to spot the technology moving poltergeists!
I know it sounds like I am moaning, but the Mrs was miffed by it too. We are really trying to help her. She has trouble getting up stairs so we said why not get a stair lift installed. Nope the seats are uncomfortable. If it helps you go up and down stairs a minute or so isn't that bad. Same for the garden, it is a real mess and now that she is less mobile not that safe. We have suggested getting gardeners in to plan it and make it useable for her. It really would need a lot of working digging and building that the younger me could do but not now. That would be too expensive!!!
She has more than enough money to get it done and it would help her. We suggested that she gets one of those push frames that you can also sit on for when she goes out. Took her to the shop (this was a while back) spent about 1.5 hours looking but none were quite right for her. The day after we got home she and a friend went to a place and she found the perfect one. Yep, exactly the same one we had already looked at.OK, one final story. I know what hip pains is like. Until I got different meds it really was agony. So Mum started getting hip pain, went to the doctors and so on. Apparently despite medication the pain was severe. It was gradually getting worse and she was in a lot of discomfort. She got to see a consultant, had all the x-rays and tests and was put on the list for a replacement him. So around May 2019 she was due to have it done. There was a mix-up so it didn't happen. In Sept 2019 it was scheduled to be done. We went down so and took her for the pre-op check-up. They explained that it was really risky but she said the pain was that bad she wanted it done. So the next Monday we take her to the hospital for the op. My wife was with her for the pre-op stuff and the surgeon sat her down for a chat and she said the pain was bad and wanted to go ahead. The surgeon, with my wife there, said as you know the operation may not be sucessful because of her age and on top of that he thought that it was risky because of other health issues. Nope, she still wanted to go ahead with it as the pain was so bad the risk was worth it. He reiterated to confirm things that 'as you know the hip replacement may not be successful but there is a 90% chance that she may not make it through the operation! At that point she decided not to have the op and we went home.
On Wednesday the Mrs was going to the Tutankhamen exhibition that was on in London. Which was fine as I would stay with Mum and if the op had gone ahead seh would have been in hospital anyway. Wednesday morning mum was complaining of having back ache all night. So Iz went off to the exhibition. Apparently the pain mum had got worse so we called the 111 line - not emergency but if you have concerns. So off she goes to hospital in the ambulance and I followed in the car. Spent 8 hours getting tests and examinations and the couldn't find anything. Doctors seemed a bit sceptical about the cause and the symptoms became pretty vague. So back home we went.
Next day she went to lunch with her friends and on the Friday she went out for a pub quiz thing. The hospital day was never mentioned and the hip replacement has also been forgotten about and the pain gone! A miracle!
Honestly think it is something like Munchausen's syndrome. Seems to fit all the descriptions. When she wanted a lot of her paperwork stuff sorted (at the time for the hip op) there was a 2 year cycle where something would happen like an ulcer, or knee pain, or the hip pain that would involve the doctor, loads of tests but ultimately nothing happens and it isn't mentioned again. We found boxes of tablets for the hip pain that were unopened. Some of her friends have been very ill and it feels like she needs to have something wrong for the sympathy.
OK, that is it! Helps to get it down in writing so if you got this far thanks for listening and it isn't a cry for help or sympathy.
